Ramblings

   In the midst of the chaos of our civilization -  our jobs, relationships with family and loved ones, health problems, prayer & meditation,, ...I stand and balance this feeling of LIFE and try not to loose myself...to find myself, to bring forth the better qualities of my personality. Often it's done by mentally preparing myself, or through self-reflection whilst witnessing the thoughts that spread around me and through me whilst diving into silence. In the preparation for attending an event with my teacher Prem Rawat I am consumed with organizing all the 'things' that I have to take to keep this body alive and well: wheelchair, mobility scooter, walking sticks.....appropriate clothing.....then the essential food items and natural products & medicine. I spend months preparing to help my friends from overseas to be able to camp on site, making sure they are as comfortable as possible. I arrange with my oldest daughter & partner to borrow their caravan, and ma...

I use a mirror to see myself - a camera to take pictures of all my life experiences and of other people's experiences.  A notebook to write down all the events of my life - and finally through the arts to express my longing for love and fulfillment. This aging process is challenging, pressing, losing the will to plan ahead, sometimes empty, friends leave us and depart, and we are left with the present moment of our lives...memories that seem to stay on forever, wrongdoings, precious moments, a string of memories that keep us awake at night. I've come to the Sunshine Coast to take control, to mark time, to be present. When I am near the ocean, I feel that. Nothing is important, just to breathe the sea air, feel that volatile wind,  touch the sand with the souls of your feet, and the merging with the water - feeling our ancestral fish-fins take us deeper into an embryonic fluid that feels like home. Ipswich for me was a town that reminded me of my days in Amsterdam as a teenager...

Know the divine is inside of you be thankful for this life I hope you have tolerance left in you to hear the truth for when the truth is actually told it is the sweetest thing on planet earth It is sweeter than any fragrance of a flower it is sweeter than any singing of a song it is sweeter than the playing of any drums it is sweeter than the sweetness of nectar itself And that truth is  You are blessed beyond belief Blessed beyond belief -Prem Rawat- Nrth American Tour 2010

'I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free'. The Awakening Slave (1525-30), Michelangelo Buonarroti. I feel like my life has been like that, each period of flux carving another part to me; something that was always there, but just not visible. And my relationship with the ONE who knows me, wants the best for me, and is already able to predict my every wish and desire, is providing me with those experiences that can unlock the magic within me. Good, bad, happiness, sorrow, these are all states of emotions that are changeable with the tides of life. And we spend all of our time to try and perfect the circumstances in the world in which we live; and so little time finding that resting place within ourselves where that peace resides. When Inge visits her mother's grave after falling pregnant in her new relationship with David ( The Glass Inferno, by Angelika Fremd ) she says: " Mutti, I just want to know if you ever loved me?" as Inge had never felt...

Proboscis dive into the stem of the lotus  to taste the nectar of immortal love Sun-shadows play across the trees with sweet November blossom with succulent and rich-like tresses The jewel of Truth The knife of reason A haunting touch that crossed our path a hesitant longing for a fleeting love I burrow deep  into its bosom longing for an ardent kiss under a father's molten hand The search for wholeness the sound of the sea swell rises and falls, a cacophony of waves I learn to play my instrument, my song to honor my Self and gather the lyre The jewel of truth  is a crowned  heartbeat

Dancers in Time I'm listening to one of Cat Steven's old tracks whilst working on a Family Video clip in Smilebox. Days later, and I'm still struggling with the software, files have disappeared, lost the music, and so on..... And I'm thinking, how come all of the technology that we use today seems to imitate our dysfunctional lives? Things disappearing, struggle, instructions not working properly. You sit down for a relaxing movie, and DVD player doesn't work I look back on some of the memories of my children's early years, my grand-children's early years, and find it hard to imagine they were so little and fragile at the time. Or even looking at myself from my early years, so innocent and courageous and trusting!  Is there some kind of point to all of this, for everything to keep disappearing and then we start wearing our masks to try and defend ourselves? And then for the rest of our lives we try and unlearn all that we have learned. And if we are fortunat...

   "The Poet/Artist brings to those who are unaware, imprisoned in their not-knowing, a realisation, a vision of the boundless beauty and reality of the natural world."  (by Pablo Neruda) Just something I read during my holidays with my family - that inspired me. I love being involved with my art and writing. H a ve written a lot of poetry in my time and would like to eventually compose a book of Poems with some of my own illustrations. Whilst I don't have the spare time just yet, I might include some of my poems in this RAMBLING story of mine. I certainly feel that when I'm involved in this process of making art or writing, that I am experiencing a different part of myself, more reflective, le ss reactive, more forgiving.  I've also been very interested in the Healing, Writing and Art Workshops, and how they can benefit those who are suffering, mentally, physically or spiritually. I definitely feel that some of my diary writing is 'catha rtic' and has ...