Before and After - my Amaroo

  

In the midst of the chaos of our civilization -  our jobs, relationships with family and loved ones, health problems, prayer & meditation,, ...I stand and balance this feeling of LIFE and try not to loose myself...to find myself, to bring forth the better qualities of my personality. Often it's done by mentally preparing myself, or through self-reflection whilst witnessing the thoughts that spread around me and through me whilst diving into silence.

In the preparation for attending an event with my teacher Prem Rawat I am consumed with organizing all the 'things' that I have to take to keep this body alive and well: wheelchair, mobility scooter, walking sticks.....appropriate clothing.....then the essential food items and natural products & medicine.

I spend months preparing to help my friends from overseas to be able to camp on site, making sure they are as comfortable as possible. I arrange with my oldest daughter & partner to borrow their caravan, and make plans with my youngest daughter and her partner to assist me in transporting both the mobility scooter and caravan via two vehicles. I organize my Telstra Sym card so I can stay in touch with family during my stay at Amaroo, a new experience having my family support me.

The planning and organizing takes up all of my attention. At times it seems overwhelming, and I falter in my resolve.

But the memory of past experiences with my teacher quickens my resolve and allays my doubts. Everything we seem to do to prepare allows us to be closer to that experience of being with him, feeling that joy, enveloped in his laughter, seeing through different coloured glasses. AS if TIME stands still, there is no sequence to TIME, past and future melt into one another, as one's soul longs for that ONENESS....

Each day unfolds with uniqueness, meetings with friends feels like drops of water desiring to flow into an ocean of community. Differences disappear, laughter becomes effervescent, the wheels of my mobility scooter ride a journey that's covered with rose petals. The ride up to the amphitheatre camouflages the bumpy ride along the dirt track. All of me is focussed on only one goal...to be close to that LOVE, that wisdom, that immersion.

There is nothing else except eating, sleeping, meditation, listening, taking care to stay well....just so I can have those few moments where I am able to be attentive whilst in his presence.

And as the event retreats, and we go homeward bound...the thrill of connecting with our friends and
sharing our stories, sometimes complaining about the things that didn't go so well, but trying to hold onto that fulfillment, that simplicity...remembering can also be a wayward track.

Then comes the time when I'm alone again, and I gather the jewels of inner knowledge that have been planted by his presence, and find the renewal of the Self that loves the challenge of setting out in the wild and meeting with new experiences that can excite us, teach us, nourish us.

Each day must be unique, each moment of gratitude must seek a revival.

I stand with mask on my two wheeled chariot and greet the uncertainty of the moment, as I step into the day's existence.


Notes from Amaroo Event 2015 with Prem Rawat

Take the opportunity where available. 
What time leaves you is opportunities.
This is where things can be understood.
I am the platform..multiple moments are given to me to be fulfilled. 
If I have two legs or not, education or not, 
Whether I'm mute or deaf or blind..
I can have fulfillment. 

The stage of life is not about legs, but about being fulfilled. 
When I am content, leaving isn't an issue. 

There is a well, we have a thirst and we can be quenched. 
If you want to go somewhere, drink and move on. 
Always look for more contentment, more wisdom.