Ramblings

   In the midst of the chaos of our civilization -  our jobs, relationships with family and loved ones, health problems, prayer & meditation,, ...I stand and balance this feeling of LIFE and try not to loose myself...to find myself, to bring forth the better qualities of my personality. Often it's done by mentally preparing myself, or through self-reflection whilst witnessing the thoughts that spread around me and through me whilst diving into silence. In the preparation for attending an event with my teacher Prem Rawat I am consumed with organizing all the 'things' that I have to take to keep this body alive and well: wheelchair, mobility scooter, walking sticks.....appropriate clothing.....then the essential food items and natural products & medicine. I spend months preparing to help my friends from overseas to be able to camp on site, making sure they are as comfortable as possible. I arrange with my oldest daughter & partner to borrow their caravan, and ma...

I use a mirror to see myself - a camera to take pictures of all my life experiences and of other people's experiences.  A notebook to write down all the events of my life - and finally through the arts to express my longing for love and fulfillment. This aging process is challenging, pressing, losing the will to plan ahead, sometimes empty, friends leave us and depart, and we are left with the present moment of our lives...memories that seem to stay on forever, wrongdoings, precious moments, a string of memories that keep us awake at night. I've come to the Sunshine Coast to take control, to mark time, to be present. When I am near the ocean, I feel that. Nothing is important, just to breathe the sea air, feel that volatile wind,  touch the sand with the souls of your feet, and the merging with the water - feeling our ancestral fish-fins take us deeper into an embryonic fluid that feels like home. Ipswich for me was a town that reminded me of my days in Amsterdam as a teenager...